Saranghae

A few weeks after Simon came home something cute happened that I thought I should blog about but never got around to it and then got busy and then other events took place and I wrote about them. But this memory is still crystal clear in my mind.  It was this day...

And no, the memory isn't just that my son looked abso-freaking-lutely adorable that day. Sidebar- Simon loves this picture as well. It's my phone wallpaper and whenever he sees it he smiles and makes deep voiced "vroom vroom" noises while pretending to drive erratically. We were having a really fun day. In the middle of playing I realized that I remembered how to say "I love you" in Korean and I'd never said it to him. So I said "Saranghae" and Simon stopped, gave me a huge smile and put his hands to the top of his head and bowed to me! Like when we first met and he gave me a kiss. We hadn't seen the bow since then. OMG melt my heart. After that we tried to say Saranghae regularly and initiate the bow because we didn't want him to lose that cute gesture, but he didn't always respond or sometimes it was pretty-half hearted depending on what he was doing and if he was paying attention to us. 

Fast forward a few weeks and we'll just say Simon and I have been having some "moments". Sometimes it's hard to know what I'm dealing with. Is the tantrum because he is: teething, sad, tired, a toddler, misses his foster parents, just plain mad, testing me, etc. etc. And in the end how much does the reason affect how I respond to the tantrum? I'm the first to admit that I'm not a perfect mother and at times have probably not reacted in the "best" way even though at the time I thought it was what was best. In the end I think Simon has been testing me a lot to find out just how much control he has and if I will stick with him. On a particular day last week Simon looked like this...

...for like 40 minutes because I wanted to change his nasty diaper before going outside to play. Later that day he looked like this again because he woke up waaaaaay to early from nap and I told him he needed to lay back down. I stuck with it and repeatedly tucked him back in time and time again after he attempted to climb out of bed. I'd give him a hug and say soothing things (the soothing things are for the both of us). During one particular hug he was clinging to me and sobbing and I said, "Simon-Mommy loves you and knows what is best for you. You will not like all the decisions I make for you but Mommy and Daddy decide what is best for you. I will take care of you forever. Saranghae." And in the middle of sobbing and hiccuping Simon puts his hands to the top of his head and does the bow to me. We'll just say that he got an extra tight hug before I laid him back down. No, he didn't get "his way" but I think he got what he needed. Comfort and consistency. And Simon, you are so sweet to know what I needed also...because I really needed reassurance that we were doing okay. And to any of Simon's future girlfriends- I will say good luck winning an argument when the kid has moves like that. That day we will call a success, but there are plenty of others that are not:) 

I think we may have turned a small corner because since then we haven't had any major meltdowns. Since then he's been looking mostly like this:

Happy Memorial Day!